


폐하

by senisensei



Series: By Ourselves [1]
Category: EXO (Band)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Royalty, Angst, Eventual Romance, Fluff, Forbidden Love, M/M, Slow Burn
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-01-09
Updated: 2019-01-10
Packaged: 2019-10-07 06:10:57
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 2,079
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17360501
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/senisensei/pseuds/senisensei
Summary: Eight year old Jongin's responsibility as the Crown Prince was to betroth the to-be Crown Princess, so he did. It has been eighteen years since they married and the Crown Princess' half brother, Sehun, finally returns from his travels. Scholarly flirting ensues until Crown Prince turned King Jongin kisses Sehun in the library on the night of his coronation.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> 1.[폐하] means ‘Your Majesty’ in Korean. I loosely based Jongin’s being royalty off of King Sejong the Great and off our lovely Lee Yool from 100DMP.  
> 2\. Spotify playlist (here: https://spoti.fi/2H3Jj5s) for you to listen to while reading. The songs can help build the mood and maybe also aid in visualizing the scenes. Enjoy! (Update: Finally proof-read!!)

Contrary to trend, Jongin didn’t like jade.

He didn’t like the color albeit the symbolism of authority, fortune, and purity were considerable. It was heavy as jewelry, even heavier as a girdle. It truly did remind him of his responsibilities, his burdens, his promises to the citizens and more importantly, to the throne, to his parents.

Growing up while being reminded that ever since the minute his uncle passed away, which led to his father becoming King, meant that all his life as a royal noble was permanently taken away and replaced with his immediate upgrade as the third direct heir to the throne known as 'Prince Jongin', it was all very tiring.

It was physically heavy on his shoulders, wearing the title of ‘Prince’ as well as wearing the midnight blue dragon robe adorned by the heavy silver girdle that he carried every day of his life. It has been 6,677 days since his and his brothers’ coronation ceremony in the palace. The same palace he played in rarely as a child until his father became the King of Joseon.

Whenever he walked through the corridors, the concrete hummed to him. Hummed a tune of tiredness and lack of belonging since he knew he was never made to be royal, a Prince more so. Days in his childhood that were supposed to be spent playing General Commander were spent in his room, his ‘study’ as Prince Jongdae properly called it, Elementary Learning open, memorizing principles and morals for children. Days in youth spent practicing combat, manners, ideologies, rituals, and the list went on.

He realized that he stopped living for himself but instead started living for the people.

 _His_ _people_.

That’s why when he stared at the racks of jewelry laid out in front of him in his room, he frowns at them with an obvious distaste on his features. He traces a few rings in particular but refused to pick them up one by one to carefully examine them. After a while, he nods at Eunuch Yang and smiles.

‘This should suffice for her temper, right?’ Jongin says and finally takes out a jade ring distinguishable from the others due to it being adorned with small intricate flower ornaments.

‘Your Majesty would know best,’ Eunuch Yang replies with a bow, eyeing the ring.

‘No, you know I don’t.’ Sighing, Jongin placed the ring down on the table and looked away, outside in particular as if expecting something.

 

When the cherry blossoms fell and the breeze blew calmly, that was when the sun seemed to shine the coldest it’s ever had in Jongin’s days.

Junmyeon grew more ill as time passed, visit after visit, ceremony after ceremony. He had been sent away with his wife, unable to bear children due to his illness. Weak and lifeless, always only ever showing hollow smiles, Jongin knew somewhere in his heart that Junmyeon won’t last longer that upcoming winter.

Jongdae had worn the royal robes for burial already, walking past the noiseless corridors before bursting in his room whilst looking frantic.

‘Why haven’t you gone out? His Majesty is looking for you.’ Jongdae says when he finds Jongin laid down on the floor, eyes closed.

‘This is not happening,’ Jongin mumbles softly to himself.

‘It is. And sending him away properly would make him the most honourable Prince this nation has ever had.’ Jongdae says as Eunuch Yang was already opening the doors of the room, looking for the two princes.

‘It would make him the happiest older brother you’ve ever had.’ Jongdae tells him to which Jongin opens his eyes to, his tears rolling down his temples as he stared at the ceiling.

After Junmyeon’s passing, his wife had decided to live with her family while Jongdae, impotent and always unfairly treated by their father, the King, went on scholarly travels to make up for their sudden loss as well as to try to prove himself useful.

 _Selfish_ , Jongin always thought to himself when the night turned its darkest. They were all selfish, leaving him alone in the palace, leaving him with the throne.

Yet he also knew the didn’t choose this kind of life, they didn’t wish to enter the palace gates that dreadful day all those years ago. All the three of them wanted was to have their mother back and live happily as a family in their ancestral house.

So Jongin reminds himself that everything has beauty, but not everyone sees it.

 

Jongdae came back after a year when he received news regarding Jongin’s being betrothed to the First Premier’s daughter, to-be Crown Princess Moonyeong, with warm greetings and sincere blessings.

Jongin wanted none of it.

‘I don’t want to wed Moonyeong,’ Jongin recalls himself saying it loud and clear in front of Jongdae and his father, despite his steadfast gaze on the flooring. ‘I don’t _wish_ to.’

It took a few weeks before Eunuch Yang had brought in the doctor, some maids with platters of food, and the royal family tailor. He knew what it meant.

‘Eunuch Yang! How can you let them in my quarters? How can you betray me like this?! I demand you to make them leave!’ He says from the corner of his room as he pries the hands of the maids away from him.

‘Crown Prince,’ Eunuch Yang chastises, ‘please, for your father.’

‘No! I told him, Eunuch Yang! I told Father I didn’t want to get married! I told him I wanted to travel too! I do not need to marry!’ Jongin cries, throwing away the tailor’s things on the floor and immediately bolted out of his room only to have more maids run after him.

He wanted to drown all of it out, from his tears to the echoes of ‘Crown Prince Jongin!’ resonating on the palace walls.

Small and fragile, eight year old Jongin hugs his knees in fear as he bawls his eyes out in one corner of the palace library. He doesn’t know exactly what it was that he was afraid of: Marriage? Moonyeong? His father?

The throne?

Jongin couldn’t see the beauty of it, so he wanted all of it to go away.

 

‘Crown Prince!’

Jongin sighs before turning around with a hint of a weak smile on his lips. ‘Moonyeong,’ he says softly when the woman approaches him quite hurriedly, eyes shaking but not of horror, it was of excitement.

‘What is it Moonyeong?’ Jongin asks with a frown as he holds Moonyeong’s face in his gentle hands, combing away a strand of hair that obstructed the perpetuity of her young face.

‘My brother has come to visit.’

 

It had been 4,986 days since they wed and were crowned in front of the nation. A decade and three years since he’s last kept his promise, it was a very long time. A very long time ago when his heart still beated for himself, his eyes still saw for himself, and his life, simply his.

He followed Moonyeong, keeping up with her fast paced steps as they both tread through the palace. Moonyeong’s maids trailing behind them, quietly whispering about how enthusiastic the Crown Princess suddenly got since she was normally very laid back and kept only to herself or to Jongin and her first maid at most.

‘He likes horses and books just like you.’ She smiles at him and Jongin hums, sincerely listening before Eunuch Yang interrupts them, bowing in greeting.

‘Crown Princess, Your Highness,’ Eunuch Yang greets. ‘A meeting was requested immediately by the King, His Majesty would like Crown Prince Jongin to be present as the matters would concert his future conquests.’

Moonyeong’s face falls and Jongin sighs, knowing her tantrums were tempests that blew things out of proportion all the time.

With a face that emphatically states _Bad timing, Eunuch Yang. Great. Now I have to deal with her, again. Thanks Eunuch Yang._ Jongin clears his throat and stands beside Eunuch Yang quietly, he lifts Moonyeong’s chin up and takes a deep breath.

‘If your brother is willing to wait, with all of my heartfelt apologies, but my Father will not tolerate my tardiness, my absence much more so.’ He says with the same charm he’s used for years, always trying to make ends meet effortlessly with his wit and words.

It took a few more soft smiles from Jongin before Moonyeong bent, letting him leave with Eunuch Yang, supposedly losing his chance to meet the Crown Princess’ half brother, someone Jongin rarely heard of both inside and outside of the palace.

Jongin didn’t get to return to Moonyeong on that meeting.


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Jongin, the moonlight, his memories, and a man.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> 1\. This is very short. Very. But it was necessary (I think) for me to open a new episode in the next chapter :)  
> 2\. Sorry if the update took too long. The semester is finally ending T T

Jongin didn’t get to return to Moonyeong on that meeting.

He was sent to ride out at night, to search for some vigilantes that formed an alliance with a few masters in the nobles’ city. He did not feel sorry, nor did he feel at loss for he did not promise anything to the Crown Princess, no nothing after his sole promise of marriage all those years ago. 

Too afraid that he’ll break the very first promise if he ever made any more, Jongin made sure to never utter that word ever in front of Moonyeong. 

Halting by the bridge, Jongin watches the moonlight glimmer on some pebbles littered across the stream, then to the bigger rocks that were unevenly scattered but oddly and in groups, near the edge of the water. 

This scenery was familiar to his heart. This was the scenery he grew up admiring alongside his brothers, head leaning on Jongdae and hand clasped tightly with Junmyeon’s warm one. Nothing but the breeze and the dance of light from lamps with shadows on the water accompanied the silence that settled amidst the ache of longing in their chests as they reminisce about their mother. 

Yet when Jongin looks to his left he sees the city, even brighter and effervescent as before. Dances, parties, markets, and lots of busy people. The same people who spat on him and his father’s rule after presenting them with whatever’s best in the land. And Jongin recalls those nights before when he had no choice but to make friendships amongst scholars, was sneaked into Gisaeng houses by a few close friends, when he fell asleep inside his palanquin from his first try at this ‘unique drink’ his scholar friend, Chanyeol, had given him in a meeting prior. 

He chuckles fondly at the thought but that’s also when Jongin’s heart falls at the fact that he has probably garnered more artificial memories and mementos instead of raw ones where he showed who he truly was. The side of him who was no Crown Prince and just a man who wanted to live a life the fates willed on their own, not a chariot with reigns pulled by officials and the dynasty.

Dusting off his robes, he remembers that he was to gather with the palace scholars tomorrow morning and study together. Although below him, he did consider them as people close to his heart despite the barrier that persisted in between them. He inhales deeply, eyes closing to feel the wind kiss his cheek with utmost softness, before he opens his eyes again and proceeds to cross the bridge.

‘Kinam-ah,’ Jongin calls out to his trustworthy right-hand man since his teenage days. ‘Have the horses gotten enough rest? I would like to go back now.’ 

But when he reaches the end of the bridge he is met with an oddity, the patterns of green and black coupled with occasional crimson made him frown. He stands aside as the servants carried on, momentarily stopping near where Jongin stood as the small window slid to the side and the person inside looked out. 

It was a man. An alluring man.

Jongin couldn’t help but be rude and watch with an intrigued gaze as the man looked outside and existed there for a few seconds, eyes glittering under the moonlight, mimicking the pebbles that glimmered below the bridge earlier. It wasn’t enough that he stopped and looked so in awe of the same scenery Jongin admired similarly because the moment Jongin decides to regain his composure and blink away from his rude staring, their eyes meet.

‘Carry on.’ The man inside the palanquin speaks sternly but without much force, before closing the window and sliding the wooden block back into place.

Just then, Jongin’s frown deepens as he remembers his initial thought upon seeing the palanquin — it was Moonyeong’s family crest colors. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for reading YM! I hope we all have fun with angst and slow burn romance.

**Author's Note:**

> I hope as I write this, we all freely fall in love with Jongin and Sehun in this little universe. (You can share your thoughts with me on twitter/curiouscat: @49cmsehun)


End file.
